Every dream has a foundation from our lived experience.

Growing up, there were days I would hurry home excited to tell my mom and dad of the adventures my friends and I had in our make-believe world, dirt on my face, and the smell of old mossy woods clinging to my clothes. I’d regale them of the Lego structures and vehicles that blossomed into a settlement, cut off, struggling to find a way to survive deep within a prehistoric jungle while eating the peanut butter and banana sandwich they’d made me. Chugging down milk as I tell them of the bridge guarded by cyborg dinosaurs we’d constructed across a flowing brook, allies in the fight to survive. For just a moment, my friends and I were disconnected from the bustling D.C. Metropolitan, lost in a world of our own making.

Fast-forward to today, where I vibrate with anticipation to amuse my friends at our weekly gathering of the latest adventures in my role-playing games. Connecting with them about the insights I’d gleaned from the visceral scenes of my characters’ near-death escapes, epic cinematic encounters, and well-timed witticisms. They’d hang onto each word as I recounted these imagined escapades as if it were my own lived memory.

Storytelling has long been a part of who I am; in written form or spoken. Whether imagined or lived, a story well told can re-ignite a fire when it has been dwindling or create a new one that hasn’t yet been built. Without the space to tell stories, have a laugh, and share some tears, our modern world^[1] wouldn’t exist. So, as we close a chapter on the year and begin anew in the Gregorian calendar, I reflect on my love for storytelling and ways I might refine and share my own stories further.

Each new year, I declare resolutions or goals, as many do. My tradition of renewal isn’t just about committing to something new but also letting go. As such, I write down the things I want to relinquish and burn them in wisps of cleansing smoke. Though my resolutions and liberating pyres have varied over the years, I’ve often struggled to hold myself accountable^[2] and hit those goals. This year, I’m exploring a new approach discovered as I reflected on why previous resolutions didn’t land

Today, I’ll guide you through my thinking and look behind the curtain at how I:

• Arrived at one of my 2024 goals and the motivations behind it

• Aim to create sustainable systems that compound into fulfilling a dream

• Plan to keep myself on the path when it’s hard to do the thing

At the end, I’ll recap with some thoughts and techniques I presented in the example that you might use to bring your own New Year’s resolution into reality!

Manifesting Dreams into Reality

I can remember seeing those motivational posters with a massive mountain representing a challenge and a quote saying, “Don’t give up, you’re almost there!” as the person reaches their hand towards the summit. It’s a common struggle many face, and why so many iterations of solutions on how to reach our goals get sold to us.

You may have heard of Vision Boards, SMART goals, or daily journals to help set and achieve goals, and they certainly have their merits. However, I haven’t always found success with those alone and felt the need to dive into why. Why do I fail to write or stay in touch with my friends and family? As I’ve realized, it’s important to keep iterating on systems until the ease of maintenance becomes second nature.

I’ve dreamt of sustaining the practice of connecting more deeply and building the habit of writing regularly, an effort to refine my thoughts continuously. That said, writing alone can be difficult, and I know myself to be a social creature who thrives off the energy from vibrant conversations; to the point where I can go on late into the night. So, something has to change in my practices.

Now, let us break down how I intend to reach one of my 2024 goals with step-by-step guidance on the mindset and thoughts I pursued to create this path of manifestation.

⛰️Finding your Mountain

Before I can identify how I’ll summit this mountain that represents my dream, I first need to understand what my mountain means to me by giving myself a sherpa or guide. For instance, I know that I want to improve my writing and grow this newsletter. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and refining my ideas while I explore stories or concepts.

Connect your dream to an activity you enjoy.

At this point, the bit of reflection from before helps me identify that I enjoy the act of writing and desire to refine my voice through practice. I want my voice heard, and I’ll need a town square, an intimate dinner, or a newsletter. Contrary to what some may think, my motivation originates from a desire to connect with others who are similarly curious and conceivably engage with my writing to spark conversation that further refines my ideas.

Okay, now that I know what works for me, I’ll need to narrow down to the sharp point truly representing the year’s apex or summit. From what I described, two phrases stand out:

“I enjoy the act of writing”

“connecting with others who are similarly curious”

Among them are two verbs: connecting and writing. Refining further, when you connect, you make yourself known to others. And with all of that distillation of words, I came up with this goal:

To be a known writer

This is my summit. Now I understand where I need to head, and it associates beautifully with my core motivations. How do I define known? I’ll discover that as I explore the milestones or camps along this mountain as I make my way toward this new summit.

This dream will likely continue beyond this year, so I asked myself, what would I do in this first year?

Setting Smaller Goalposts to Sustain Motivation

🏕️Camps to the Summit

For some of the largest mountains in the world, such as Mount Everest, those attempting to summit them have found setting up camps along the way an effective method to sustainably summit. Each camp represents a milestone I’ll reach where I can pause, reflect, resupply, and celebrate the accomplishments made so far. It feels appropriate to make this into a written journal of reflection where I share my learnings as I go. In that spirit, let’s define a few questions I might reflect on at the end of each quarter:

• Did I discover something that surprised me?

  • In continuous writing, I may surprise myself. But even more interesting is when someone responds with their own lens, which somehow compounds my reflections.

• Where did I struggle?

  • Identifying what I’m struggling with leads me to refine my process to reach the next milestone regardless of smaller failures.

• What connections have you made as a result of your writing?

  • Connecting with others and staying in touch is something I’m working on. Asking this keeps it top of mind, so I keep those touch points alive. Who knows, it may spark further conversations and writings.

I may discover other questions along the way in the hopes that it will deepen my reflection. With this approach, I don’t set any particular numbers as they’re defined later by the accumulation of smaller milestones. I’m free to aim loosely and thrive on the journey to my summit. As I prepare for this ascension, I’ll give myself January to acclimate and figure things out as climbers often do before a big climb.

📍Planning your Route

In climbing and mountaineering, a climber often plans the route before they even begin to mitigate risk, increase sustainability, and more. This is no different. Each month, to continue the mantra of being a known writer, I’ll aim to collaborate with another writer on a topic that holds my interest.

This approach targets both parts of my dream, encouraging me to connect with another writer and write on a topic I want to write about. The additional benefit is that it creates external accountability with the other writer in the process. Something I know will help me push more when I get stuck.

⚙️Gearing for your Pitches

In climbing, a big climb is broken up into pitches or a section of a climbing route. To successfully top a route, a climber determines what gear they’ll need and hones the techniques for a pitch. They also don’t often climb alone. Similarly, to succeed in my goal, I’ll need to practice my writing, develop my writing instruments, and be a collaborator to get outside feedback on my improvement. It additionally evolves an aspect of being known among the community of writers and readers.

Toward those efforts, each week, I’ll pitch at least one writing collaboration and publish one newsletter post, whether light or heavier lift. There may be weeks that I miss this goal, and that’s okay, as the main purpose is to build the muscles of consistency.

🌬️Every breath matters

As I get closer to the summit, the air will get thinner. Sometimes, I’ll need to take a break, such as quietly reading a book to re-energize or talk about how I’m feeling. Recognizing this as part of the system helps make the rough patches easier to persevere through.

For this level, I’ll form the daily habits that drive me toward the next pitch, allowing myself some space to breathe and take care of other things that come up in life. Each day, leveraging an existing tool I find helpful, the Pomodoro technique, I’ll dedicate 30 minutes to an hour with focused intentions on the following:

• Two days for writing something - this can also include a collaboration pitch, a draft, a poem

• Two days for editing/refining - reviewing my work early often helps me

• Two days for ideation and feedback gathering - I’m a social creature and thrive on collaboration

• One day for getting things done - collaborative pitch refinement, further writing, or editing. Sort of a free day to drive toward the weekly milestone

With the above, I have something every day, especially during lunch^[4], even if it’s just a little to stay consistent. As I approach the summit, I suspect this habit will become easier as I build my writing endurance and techniques.

Recap: Creating your own Summit System^tm*

♻️The Process

1. Define your dream - by connecting it to an activity you enjoy, you increase your likelihood of sticking with it.

2. Break it down to the habits that get you to the first milestone.

3. Inject tools into your systems to keep you on track - this may involve some self-reflection to find out where you struggle.

🛠️Tools I Used

• External Accountability - to encourage getting things done.

• Pomodoro - to support getting started when energy is low.

• Habit Stacking - to help build the muscles of regularity.

That’s it. Phew, this has been the longest post I’ve written so far. A post I’m proud to finish after an intense transition into the new year for myself. Now, to figure out how to get some of the art I’ve created here and turn it into a motivational poster!

Thanks for following along with me, and I hope you’ve found this a helpful exercise. Until next time, keep dreaming; you only live once…

📖Const Learning

[1]: Stephen Johnson gives a seminar based upon his book, “Wonderland: How Play Made the Modern World” exploring the origins and history of play. An absolutely fascinating topic that only encouraged me further to expand my personal time for play and creativity.

[2]: Reference to previous writing that reflects on my failed attempts to build habits and what tools and techniques eventually worked for me.

[3]: External accountability is defined on multiple levels, as described in this article.

[4]: Reference to a technique that has worked for me in the past: Habit Stacking.

*Not actually trademarked

• how I fell in love on a plane

• learning some life lessons as I stumbled to find my place in a new city

• getting a sense of what serendipity actually means for me

As you navigate through the story, I’ll drop insights that either occurred to me then or in my reflections. But first, you’ll need this:

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Learning to walk as you run

Buckle up. You are about to hear a story about someone traveling a great distance to be with someone on a whim. One of many impulse decisions that’d shape me in unexpected ways. Let us begin…

I’d been studying Computer Engineering in San Luis Obispo, California, dabbling in philosophy and psychology. One year after finishing school, I went home to visit my family, bringing my cat with me. The ripple of deciding to bring my cat would lead me on a path I never expected. Sitting there waiting for the plane to board, a curious Persian woman sat next to me and, after asking permission, began talking to my cat like a person, exactly like myself. We got to talking further as the terminal filled with a din of waiting passengers, and I realized that I’d stumbled upon someone I didn’t know I was looking for. Something just felt right about it, and before my rational brain caught up, I took the leap.

We parted ways as we found our seats; I took note and, through the plane entertainment system, found a way to chat, following that feeling. On the plane, we met each other in that nook where the flight attendants hung out and couldn’t get enough of each other. Once we landed, she suggested we meet at a library, and from my childhood, I knew of one near my home. It was a perfect time to continue the banter from the plane while wandering the shelves, finding random topics to dive into as we discovered each other's interests. It was something out of the movie Serendipity!

… before my rational brain caught up, I took the leap.

She was attending UC Berkeley, and for a while, we’d visit each other by train or bus, going on adventures on the central coast of California. As our relationship grew, I knew I couldn’t sustain living far from her for much longer. Before my rational brain caught up, I took the leap.

I dropped everything after years in a small college town and made my way North to Silicon Valley, the land of tech giants and a bustling city. That said, I didn’t go in totally blind. I already knew the potential of moving my life to the Bay Area from classmates and previous visits with her or college friends. That prior knowledge made the impulsive action less of a risk, as I knew there were other potential opportunities in this new place.

What’s an impulsive decision you made that surprised you with what you learned? I’d love to hear about it.

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Immersed in the world of Computer Engineering, my sights were set on unraveling the complexities of technology, fueled by a burning desire to innovate and create. Silicon Valley has a storied history of innovation, and it would be my new home. Yet, amidst this technical pursuit, unexpected currents swept me into choppy waters.

I can remember struggling at first, making ends meet by working odd jobs and living in a small bedroom with a shared bathroom. I found myself scooping gelato at a local shop, exploring classes in creative writing and anthropology—a serendipitous detour that would billow my sails into a future of eloquence. However, amidst this mosaic, I grappled with a sense of direction, adrift, seeking a lighthouse to navigate the uncharted.

Though I may have been meandering in focus, I’d begun to see the beacon calling me to port in Karl with a stable foundation in Berkeley. Not shortly after that feeling settled, the relationship crumbled beneath me. Why it crumbled is a story itself chock-full of life lessons; perhaps I’ll share another time. For a moment, all my plans seemed to have lost meaning.

However, before my rational brain caught up, I took the leap. The solution didn’t come overnight, but I’d reawakened my focus. Bottomless gelato and the friends I’d made in my new home left me with solace. A mantra I repeated, “I am NOT alone; this setback WON’T define me.” With an act of defiance and gratitude I devoted myself not to fall flat on my face.

… before my rational brain caught up, I took the leap.

I seized this newfound devotion to rubber-band myself back into action. Fortunately, LinkedIn had been around for a while at this point, but I’d only just started learning about it. Honestly, this time of my life was a whirlwind of new things, mistakes being made, and just trying to stay above the surface of an ever-growing ocean representing things I didn’t know. I persevered and created a profile.

Fortunately, it settled onto the shore of a recruiter’s search. I’d gotten my first cold outreach about a role that sounded too good to be true—a way to get into the tech industry and learn how to network as part of my job. Of course, I was nervous; what if I wasn’t good enough? What even is a Technology Evangelist? I remember thinking. But, no, this wasn’t the time to dwell on my hesitations. I needed to move forward and prove that I was enough; before my rational brain caught up, I took the leap. I replied, “I’m interested. Tell me more!” What did I have to lose?

… before my rational brain caught up, I took the leap.

Was the mention of a crumbling relationship too tantalizing? Want to hear more about my lessons in love? Did you ever make an impulsive decision to be with someone and it falls flat? Let me know in the comments.

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If you got lost in the story, I totally get it. Let’s recap the main lessons I’ve found so far:

• Serendipitous moments will come at you unexpectedly. You hone your awareness of these pivotal opportunities by keeping an open mind, being ready to receive new information, and acting on impulse. If you’re curious about the science behind impulse decision-making, check out Blink by Malcolm Gladwell – a fascinating read!

• Continuously learning and accepting that you don’t know everything will support your ability to make decisive decisions and impulsive actions with more passive intelligence.

Is there a lesson you found that I didn’t list above? Let me know! A different lens on the same story can reveal findings hidden from those close to them.

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> FUN FACT: Serendipity can play a major role in the success of individuals and organizations. For example, Penicillin was discovered by Alexander Fleming by accident.

Hello, World

For many years, I’ve wanted to share my perspective but always had a bit of fear. Today, we take a first step.

As a world traveler, storyteller, forever learner, and wearer of many hats in 10+ years working in Silicon Valley startups, I aim to inspire, nudge, and put a bit more optimism into the world. There seems to be a lot of cynicism out there, far too much of it. As I dive into insights from a story, I hope we’ll take that first step toward shifting your mindset. To take a moment in the present and enjoy something inspiring external to yourself. This is one of the many techniques I’ve learned along the way that helped me drive forward when times are tough, when life feels uncertain, and still have a bit of fun along the way.

If you’re not a film watcher and have never seen the Rocky movies, then maybe you know a song from them, “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor, classically seen in media since the 80s to evoke a shift towards a strong and resilient attitude. While you read the stories below, take a moment to put it on while you read.

Today, I’ll share a few challenges I’ve overcome with this persevering perspective in my never-ending journey on this river of life.

Following Through

While traveling in Peru, I discovered a cooking class not far from my hostel in Cusco. So, in the spirit of adventure, I signed up! Cooking is one of those skills where making mistakes can lead to the worst or best results; failure can be a reward in many ways.

In other words, “true growth comes from the discomfort of failure,” said probably someone before me. For me, cooking isn’t something I grew up doing, loving, or anything of the sort. That said, great family recipes and dinners were the tradition during holidays, and it got me curious. I started exploring it more once I left my parent’s home. It took me a while to feel comfortable around a kitchen and get the food coming out with any consistency! Those spices are so hard to manage sometimes.

So back in Cusco, when I walked into this cooking class, and we were learning about the 3000 plus varietals of potatoes in Peru, how to identify the starch levels to determine the right methods of cooking them or if they even fit our dish, it felt like I had walked into a whole new world. I’ll never forget this particular class because I’d never cooked by lighting my wok on fire before (see photo); let me tell you, what a thrill! I nearly singed my beard off.

This wasn’t my first time leaping into something with a “spirit of adventure,” that was a muscle I’d developed over the many previous adventures we’ll likely bring up another time. Though this wasn’t my first time cooking while I travel, it really solidified how much I learned by taking that risk. It taught me so much about the culture, people, and lands from something we all need: food.

The first leap was scary until I discovered the rewards and failures that would make the next time even better because I’d learned something from both. In truth, this newsletter is something that gives me a tinge of trepidation. But because I’ve exercised what some might call grit, I’ll give it a shot!

This newsletter is filled with love and is meant to be a safe space for sharing reflections and the thoughts sometimes missed. Did you resonate with something I’ve shared?

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A Moldy Reflection

A trial that required ALL of my grit came back into focus with the greatest clarity when a friend messaged me the other week, listing off symptoms they’ve been facing; I knew right away they were facing a similar battle. I am a survivor of black mold poisoning–it was a harrowing multi-year recovery to reclaim myself. Today, I’m given hope that my struggles and perseverance through it all will help them not face the same journey, or at least not alone. Many out there don't know their troubles come from mold; here are a few of the more common symptoms:

1. Allergic Reactions: Mold often triggers allergies. It could be due to mold exposure if you're experiencing persistent sneezing, coughing, runny nose, red eyes, or skin rashes.

2. Breathing Problems: Difficulty breathing, wheezing, or shortness of breath, especially in a location like your home or office, could point towards mold toxicity.

3. Sinus Issues: Mold can cause chronic sinusitis. Frequent sinus infections, nasal congestion, or sinus headaches could be signs of mold exposure.

4. Fatigue and Weakness: If you're always feeling tired or weak without an apparent reason, this could be a symptom of mold toxicity.

5. Memory Problems and Brain Fog: Mold toxins can impact your cognitive function, leading to memory issues, lack of focus, and general brain fog.

The above is sourced from this article, which outlines more symptoms of black mold and some common misconceptions. Inform yourself should you be one or find another needing support. To give it space, and if folks show interest, I’ll likely dedicate a post to this story. For now, what helped me tremendously was talking to a Naturopath who looked holistically at what was triggering my symptoms: an overabundance of histamines. For anyone who suspects mold toxicity, try these three things:

1. If you’re able, leave the space for some time. Get a professional who specializes in Mold Remediation in the home to inspect the place and give you an evaluation.

2. Talk to your doctor(s) about a blood panel that looks for histamine levels and other deficiencies. Start filling in those gaps, they’ll support your recovery.

3. As soon as you’re able, shift your diet to low-inflammatory foods, or what’s called a low-histamine diet, to reduce potential triggers.

With every lesson we share, we raise the tide.

Did a story I share make you think of someone you know? Share the newsletter and reconnect!

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Picking Yourself Up

On a good day, forming habits can be difficult: writing regularly, going to the gym, and reading books periodically are just a few that I’ve struggled with in recent years. Today, I’m thankful to have made progress on all of them. The simple strategy that helped me get here?

Habit stacking –

Firstly, you need to identify a current habit that you do every single day.

Secondly, you add or "stack" a new habit on top of it.

You do that by using the stacking formula, which looks like this:

After [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

Once you master the basics of habit stacking, the next step is to start stacking your stacks. Basically, you chain numerous habits together, each one acting as the trigger for the next. This step will allow you to create an actual routine for yourself.

For more, check out this awesome video from Better Than Yesterday.

External accountability – 

Find a friend, gamification, or perhaps an AI assistant to keep you accountable to stick with it. It can be harder to find one that works for you. I’ll admit that I struggled to keep myself accountable with gamified apps and even an AI coach bot (built by a friend of mine) that would text me to keep on top of my habits.

What eventually worked for me was finding a few friends to go climbing regularly, my partner (now fiancée) and I setting up a regular calendar event to remind us to check in on finances, and tearing my ACL in March to really get me committed to reclaiming my fitness. The last is an extreme example, but that in itself was yet another obstacle to persevere through, recognizing where I’d failed and taking the next steps to return to the slopes. Find what motivations work for you in the moment until you’re able to make things easier for yourself. We’re all a work-in-progress, moving through life step by step.

Continuous Growth

Every week, I'll pick out a few gems that have informed my perspective and kept me curious about the world. I hope you enjoy them!

• How to Not NEED as Much Motivation to do the Thing

  I’ve always struggled with procrastination, but having a visualization and mental tools to build the “bridge” made things tangible, making the Thing feasible.

• "Talk to Strangers" by Matt Dahlia

  In a world filled with people staring at their screens (for at least two decades now), talking to strangers has become the ultimate test of discomfort for many. I’ve been following this team's journey in awe, and I’m taking the chance on this pre-order because the message is so powerful. Go “Talk to Strangers”; they’re just friends you haven’t met yet.

• "Learn in Public" by SWYX

  I am absolutely inspired by SWYX and his presence of continuous growth in the developer community. His “Learn in Public” piece is part of the reason I’m writing this newsletter—a forcing function to do the things I want to do in my life.

Until next time, keep driving forward, as you only live once…

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